Copycats Make Me Panic

 For a long time now, I've noticed something about myself. I really, REALLY panic and get irritated or nervous when someone tries to be like me. Like... I really start to get upset when I feel someone is copying me or having the same interests as me. Well, the interests thing is not really as strong as the copying thing. Point is, if someone is similar to me, I feel uncomfortable.

I actually have an idea of why I feel this way, though!

I remember in elementary school, there was this girl I was friends with... And she kept copying my every move, from the way I walked, the way I talked, and even had the audacity to ask me to teach her how to draw because my drawings were "so good."

Ahaha! They were probably good at the time for a bunch of 4th graders like us!

Anyway! She copied me so much, that I tried to change myself, but she just copied that too. I was so annoyed, and I understood that she was probably just jealous of me, but I was still so upset because she claimed MY ideas as hers, and claimed that I WAS THE ONE copying her. Being stupid gullible little kids, people believed her.

I never felt that feeling before. The fear of people stealing my identity. The fear of losing something I had because someone stole it from me. The fear of someone else being recognized for my work.

Anyhow, I got my revenge. We both supposedly had the same crush, so I did something that was probably too far actually...

This is a secret. If you see this, you'll know one of my secrets now.

I called him on another phone number and pretended to be her, and he believed it all. He was heartbroken. It was clear he had a crush on her. She was just playing around with him to hurt me I suppose.

When I called and texted him, I did my most convincing impression of her and pretended to have a boyfriend. I made sure I pretended to be the boyfriend as well, talking to her in the call and saying lovey things. I even went as far as to call him up as someone completely random and tell him about how the girl talks bad about him and me, hoping that would convince him to like me instead.

So stupid of me...

Uh... I think what I did really affected him... and it also really affected me...

That's all! That's all! ^^'

So that's probably it... All the tormenting from that girl has caused me to fear people stealing my ideas or acting identical to me...

Honestly, it's kind of traumatized me somehow. Now, whenever someone says a catchphrase I say a lot, I panic internally! Or whenever someone tells another person something they heard from me, I get nervous when they don't say it's from me.

I've had some copycats on YouTube.com before... I was so upset and angry when I saw people reuploading my videos without giving credit or just plagiarizing my ideas/characters and adding their coat of paint on them...

I'm not even popular! So why choose me out of everyone? Just to torture me with the idea?

I think I'm rambling... That's all..for real!

Toodles..!