☆ Ducky's Room! ☆

I always stop to forgive people, but then I realize that I should stop to think instead... I keep forgiving this one friend I have... Let's just call him Gio, because nobody here knows him by that name specifically! We used to be BEST buddies... Just really good friends! We would joke around a lot about things, but he started getting a little weird on me... Um... Long story short, he lied about his age, and I found out like a couple months ago... It had been on and off before that anyway. Like, we're friends! Then we're not. And it kept going until I found out about his true identity! It was so surprising! And upsetting... And to think... He was supposedly only a year older than me! He was so jealous of Split and I guess that's when everything started to spiral...not that things weren't weird before that. From him being a big fan of mine, to him becoming a friend of mine, to discovering he's a bad person and... leaving. So gross... And his imagination is way wor...

 Hi! Sorry about the last entry! I was getting upset with something. ^^; Now, for this entry! I'm friends with Blaze again! Who's Blaze? My friend... Even though he used to be bad, I still want to be friends with him. It's really true! I always come crawling back to the people that hurt me before! Please don't take offense to that, Blaze! Haha... I might even become friends with BestBuy again! Ehehe~.. I don't care that much what they do anymore... I don't even mind if they find me in real life! ⸝⸝o̴̶̷̥᷅ ̫ o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝ But it's okay! If anything goes wrong, I know Randy has my back! :D Randy always has my back.

 I like to listen to people. I like it when people find comfort in telling me things. It makes me feel happy that they are comfortable enough with me to speak to me about things. It makes me feel happy when they feel better just from me listening. I don't really want to do anything else. Can you stop SLAMMING THE DOOR??? It's so loud. It's so loud. It hurts my ears. It scares me. I hate sudden noises. I hate sudden things. I hate 

 Instead, I will schedule a date with my friends at the cafe near where Randy and Nick lives. It will be this weekend. It's obvious that I cannot spend time with someone else!! I will spend time with my friends instead. I always do, so it's okay! I like to spend time with them. Especially when things are spinning. Like at the amusement park again! Spinning on the ride! We will have a blast! This time it's only me, Randy, and Rodrick, because the others are busy. Randy and Rodrick are free on the weekend and they confirmed it. I'm excited to spend time with them again! I always spend time with them lately. It's starting again! Let's do this! I can't wait! :D

 I can't believe I'm trying to be friends with him and the other one again. After everything? Maybe I really am that desperate... Sigh～ If I can't have someone then I will just have to do it myself. I can't believe I try to make them feel sorry for me. I want to see it all within me and let them decide. I don't want to believe I am pretending to do everything. I can't even believe I'm playing the victim. Guilting is going too deep into my soul. I can't believe anything. I don't want to believe myself.

 I was reading through our old group chats and remembered how adorable Randy is. I like that he appears comfortable be himself around us! :D He's also very sweet and funny. He's awkward, but in a good way. He has an odd sense of humor, but just the right amount of odd. There's so many things about him that are just perfect! Kia is also so cute. She's been getting better at English throughout the years, and I'm so proud of her! (*^ᗜ^*) Rodrick is silly. He tries to be all tough and gangster but he ends up showing his soft side often, and it's just lovely. It seems that our friendships will never be broken again. I know we've had our ups and downs, but one thing's for sure: we will all be best friends forever! I cannot forget about Nicholas! I know it was hard to forgive him for what he did in the past, but we've all grown to an understanding of why he was acting that way. We've come to forgive him and continue loving him as a great friend, because...

 Wow, it's been a whole year since I've uploaded here! ^^; The reason I'm writing here again is so nobody can really see it except for a few people that may stumble across this... which isn't gonna be a lot! :P Usually people look at my real diary, and they look at my drawings and sometimes even read my entries! But here, not many people will do that because they don't know about it or even know who I really am! >_< Anyway! I really wonder how things would've been if I had a different approach to love and feelings for people... Usually I fall in love terribly easily, and it's hard for me to fall out of love once we've connected ourselves to eachother. It's very common for people to be like this now, so I'm not weirded out by myself! But, what if it took longer for me to develop a crush? What if it took me a while to show feelings for Split? He probably only asked me out because I admitted I had a crush on him. What if I never showed that I ...